always give it your all - this might be gross to read

 This post may or may not be riddled with grammar and spelling errors.

I don't get sick that often, but when I do I get really sick.

Feeling a headache coming on? Here's a migraine that will last ten days and impair your vision, have fun getting shots in your butt to cure this one.

Cold symptoms? We had tracheitis last time so let's go with bronchitis. For a week. Or maybe two.

This is unfortunately holding true today, as I sit pitifully wrapped in a blanket on the couch, unable to move without the threat of throwing up again showing it's ugly face.

I'm on day two of puking any time I try to do anything, but at least yesterday I was able to have toast and some soup.

Not today though, today is the day vertigo kicked in and now every time I focus my eyes anywhere the room spins and I gag.

Lovely right?

And I can't even try to sleep this off. Two reasons: One, I have a killer headache and it feels like a metal clamp is being tightened around my skull. And two: If I lay down for more than four seconds Gwen starts screaming like I've left her to die. When in reality I'm six feet from her but she can't see me when I lay down so bird logic says I'm gone forever.

Well, Gwen's been screaming anyways because I don't have the energy or tolerance to chase her around the house and deal with her shenanigans so she's been cooped up all day. It really helps with the headache.

To add insult to injury I have an app on my phone that I use to keep track of my nutritional values for the day, and yesterday it scolded me for not eating enough saying "We will not be giving you your nutrient values for the day until your reach the doctor recommended minimum of 1000-1200 daily calories."

Oh, so two slices of bread and a cup of soup aren't life sustaining? I never would have guessed.

Luckily I can keep water down. And by keep it down I mean I don't immediately vomit after having a drink of it, but I'll probably throw it up later when I try to move or accidentally sneeze or something.

Yes, that happened. I sneezed and without missing a beat threw up, and then sneezed again.

I swear my body was manufactured wrong.

Moral of the story always give 110% on everything you do.