A Cat Named Satan: The Third Warning

Things had been pretty quiet in regards to haunting and strange voices. Of course right as I had settled into my new life of not being stalked by demons they just had to come back.

Let me set the scene for you, this is my storage area:

I couldn't make this up. That is actually my balcony. I took that picture last night.

It's creepy enough on it's own but now I'm convinced it's also a gate to Hell in it's spare time.

I know this because two nights ago I watched Satan himself crawl out of it.

Satan is a cat, by the way.

Here's a drawing of him:

There I was, minding my own business and sitting on the computer completely wasting my day when movement on my balcony caught my eye. We have a lot of really fat squirrels that hang out on our railing so I wasn't too surprised. But when the same black cat that marked my impending doom previously came slinking out of my shed I stopped breathing.

It walked slowly to where Gwen was perched in front of the window and sat down to stare inside my apartment at her.

Now I don't know how you would react if the manifestation of Satan sat down to eye your baby for lunch but nuh-uh I don't care if you carry the souls of the damned on your back I am not having any of this.

So I did what any person would do, I asserted my dominance. I walked over to the window, moved Gwen aside and squatted down to eye level with Satan himself and we had a staring contest.

It only lasted about a minute.

I won. I beat Satan and he went on his way.

Of course now I had to know where he was living. I hadn't seen him on my balcony before this but I had seen him elsewhere on the property. It wasn't hard to find him.

Satan is living under the building across from mine.

So to get on his good side and possibly convince him to call off his demons I'm going to feed him, per my mom's suggestion.

I bought a little bag of cat food and I'm gonna put it under the building and maybe take a picture under the building before I run away.

I'll keep you all updated on my inevitable Satanic encounters.