The DMV is incredible and also super depressing.

I'm currently sitting at the DMV and writing this on my phone so excuse and inconsistencies and weird formatting.

The DMV is amazing. And also terrible. There are 39 people in line before me. I'm number D708 and they just called D669. That's not counting all the other letters in circulation. So probably more than 39.

What can you expect though? There are three DMV's within an hour of me and this is the only "full service" one, meaning the other two don't take care of everything, just a few small things that are wildly unimportant.

I'll probably be here for well over another hour. It's been almost an hour since I got my ticket and since the wifi here is super slow I've been doing a lot of people watching.

It's weird what being stuck with such a variety of people will do.

I mean, the DMV offers a view of the community better than any survey could. Literally everyone has to go to the DMV at some point. So you get people from all backgrounds and all walks of life--D670 was just called. One step closer.

And here we all sit because the DMV is terrible and there is apparently no way they can make it less terrible because it has ALWAYS been terrible.

And people have a weird way of experiencing terribly boring things together.

There's a baby behind me that keeps crying. I don't blame them, if it was socially acceptable for me to scream and cry for being here too long I would.

But like I was saying. There's something weirdly amazing about watching people at a place like this. Every so often someone will recognize someone else and there will be this glowing moment of joy and happy hello's, followed by a dramatic crash shared by both parties as they realize together--D671-- that they're BOTH at the DMV and it is terrible for both of them.

Or when the old guy yells out "HOW MUCH LONGER" from the very back row of seating and the three attendants all roll their eyes together.

The fact that there are three attendants and 11 windows says a lot about the DMV as well.

It's kind of like a Walmart. There are 40 registers but only two people working there. Everyone hates it but also accepts it as a necessary flaw of life.

D672.

Consider for a moment: where else can you go, sit down, and have someone from a completely different demographic that you sit down next to you. You share no interests, no similarities or hobbies or anything except you are both currently at the DMV and probably hate it.

People bypass the stiff impersonal façade they wear every day because if you're going to sit next to someone for two hours you might as well be nice to them.

The baby behind me is still crying and in ANY other scenario people would be irritated and crabby with the mother but not here. Not at the DMV. Because everyone knows she didn't bring the baby for fun. And everyone else feels like screaming and crying too. So instead of being angry people are understanding. A woman with a brigthly painted cane offers it as a toy, the man a few seats down makes faces at the baby to distract it, people offer their sympathies to the mom because they know she's trying and its okay.

There's a little girl with poofy pigtails telling stories to the old woman in the seat behind her, they're laughing and smiling together and these people have never seen each other and may never see eathother ever again.

The DMV is incredible. And horrible and depressing and I'm going to be here for the rest of my life but that's fine because it's neat and entertaining and at least I don't have anywhere to be today.

D673.

It's been 4000 years since I made a post and I hate beans.

Hey there boys and girls time to gather around and listen to me make excuses.

Actually I don't have any, I just didn't ever sit down to write anything because my life went from funny and entertaining to "I'm really busy all the time and stressed out?? ?!?"

But now it's slowed back down and I remembered this blog and decided to write you a thing. Surprise!

Today's topic is "anything I think of while I sit at the computer."

First things first let's talk about things I like that I used to not like. That's what on my brain right now, most notably beans.

I tried being a vegetarian once when I was younger and made it maybe a whole two weeks tops. I'm back to being a vegetarian but I've been wildly more successful in this attempt and in the next couple days here will hit the 5 month mark so good for me.

The diet change has unsurprisingly meant I have to eat foods that I didn't eat before because I can't go to McDonalds four times a day anymore. I got used to eating absurd amounts of fruit really fast and vegetables came close behind but one thing I NEVER liked as a kid has finally made it's smelly way back into my life.

Beans.

I hate beans, they're smushy and have a weird skin and taste like bland and are overall boring and terrible and I love them. It's disgusting. If you were to ask me "Hey, Erin, do you like beans?" I would say "gross no" and then you would say "okay, what are you eating" and I would say "a bowl of beans that I microwaved because they were leftover from the beans I had yesterday. I hate beans though."

And all of that would be true. I eat them in a lot of things and hate them but actually don't? But I do.

I'm the same way with pickles. I order all my food with no pickles please and pick them off things but then eat them out of a jar at my house. Pickles aren't even good they don't have their own taste they're just borrowing vinegar and salt's taste and they have a weird skin too.

Also there are some foods that I continue to buy/order/attempt to eat even though I KNOW I hate them. Like tofu. I cannot get used to just plain boring tofu. Tofu is the kind of food that smells bad but you're not really sure how because it shouldn't have a smell. It's also the kind of food that squeaks when you eat it and if I wanted my food to sass back to me I would eat a teenager.

I bought vegetarian deli slices and will say that even though they were made of tofu they were pretty alright but that may be because I put enough mustard on them to cause actual physical pain in my mouth.

When you've eaten enough mustard in one sitting to actually hurt yourself get back to me.

One thing I'm looking forward to/am apprehensive about are the corndogs I bought.

See, ever since I switched from eating meat to not eating meat I haven't really missed it. I've missed things that are typically based around meat like sandwiches and burgers but I've found ways to eat them without eating animals also. Like soy burgers or whatever,

But one thing I've been actually sad about having to give up was corndogs.

I. Love. Corndogs.

And I'm happy/sad because I found some vegetarian ones with fake meat in them! But I haven't tried them because what if they're terrible and spoil the fond memory of corndogs that I have? So for now they just sit in my freezer.

Anyways I'm terrible at conclusions so this is where this blog post ends. I will probably forget about this blog for another eight months or so, but for now I hope you enjoyed me getting angry at food bye.

I'd like to introduce you to someone very special

Heyyy-o I went to the zoo (eventually I'll put a video up about it) and something very special happened to me. I met someone very very important.

It happened in an instant: we had been at the zoo, in the hot sun, for seven hours. We were wrapping up our trip with a stop in the zoo store. I had decided I wanted a stuffed snake, but couldn't find one that wasn't six feet long. ("I am an adult" I said, "a six foot long stuffed animal snake is for children" oh how I wish I maintained that outlook for more than 15 seconds.)

Anyways, I was just thinking to myself "Man I hope the deodorant in the car isn't melted because I stink" when I saw him.

Partially obscured by the others around him, I could only see part of his face, but when I got closer and saw the rest, I was awestruck.

Without further ado, I'd like to introduce you to Dr. Theodore.

Isn't he great? When I finally got him home we had a nice photoshoot so here are some pictures from that for you to laugh at:

 As you can probably see, Dr. Theo here has a solid Quasimodo-esque asymmetrical face. As you can also see he is very proud and simultaneously terrified looking. Dr. Theo is a swell guy, he's just a little top heavy and needs some help standing upright but he loves to cuddle.

Gwen (my bird) on the other hand, hates Theo. She will launch herself at him and bite him if she deems him too close and can't fly away. I tried to get a picture of my two children together and this was the best I could do:

Notice the uncomfortable lean that Gwen has going on. About half a second after I took this picture she flew away. Not sure why she hates him but it may be his giant, horrified, unwavering gaze.

He does however get along really well with the three foot tall metal rooster I adopted early this spring:

So that's good.

Hey let's talk about plants!!

Hey how's it going today I'm gonna talk about my plants because I'm completely obsessed with them so prepare yourself for the virtual plant tour:

We'll start off the tour with the outside plants because there's not a lot of them~

This is my pineapple sage. Maybe one day it will flower and do it's job (which was to feed the hummingbirds who stop by once a week or so to see if there are any flowers) but for now it just sits there. This picture was right after a thorough haircut.

This is my salvia flower! it used to be much more purple but it has since lost it's petals and isn't very purple anymore.

You can see he has a little teeny trellis around him and that's because his base is very narrow and he has a tendency to whip around really violently in the slightest of breezes.

So now he has a cage!!

This is my barrel of things!!

This little fella is lavender and it would be much bigger if the birds would stop destroying it. I can't find anything online that says birds hate certain plants but the birds only pay attention to this one and the rosemary and they don't even eat them just destroy them.

Here's the previously mentioned rosemary. He's doin' a little better than little lavender and I use him in cooking on the rare occasion that I cook.

This is my bee balm who I'm very proud of because it was small and sad when I got it and is much happier now. He should hopefully flower soon too!!

Now we'll move to the indoor plants!!

Also fresh after a haircut!! From left to right we have: scallions!! leeks!! chives!! and garlic chives!! This is my 'eat these' bin! When I picked up the chives they had a mysterious purple ball on one stem and I showed it to husband and said "Man I sure hope this isn't full of spiders" and the other day it opened and revealed...

Oh? What's that...?

A flower!! Hooray!! Then I found these upon closer inspection:

Human hands!! WOW. But really there are three more flowers on the way. Fun!!

The rest of these plants I'm assuming are not for food.

This is my ponytail. I don't know it's real name. It is much longer than it looks:

It also has human hands!!! WOW. It's like a foot and a half long when held up.

This is a red-edged dracaena and technically there are two stalks in there. It's a little baby and is doing it's best.

This is my twin flower agave!! Maybe one fateful day it will also flower but I like it just how it is anyways.

This was my first ever plant in what I call the 'spiky plant corner' where the ponytail, dracaena, phalaenopsis and succulent are.

This is the succulent!! I included a quarter on the leaf because I'm pretty proud of how big this one is. He's got little pokey ends and a pink-ish middle!!

These are the phalaenopsis. You can see there's a lot of empty space in their pots!! This is because of two things: first, I take them out of the pots to water them. Second is that I don't have any moss to pack them in with!!

These I took home from work after the flowers were cut from them, so they may not be as recognizable like this but this may be more familiar!!

I don't expect them to flower any time soon, probably not for 6 months to a year honestly.

They're a little slower going than some but they hold up pretty well!!!

Here is my newest addition! This is (I'm pretty sure) a climbing philodendron.  It was under like three pounds of dead foliage when I found it and this picture is after an intensive haircut (which isn't quite finished but looking miles better!!) Unfortunately I was too excited and began haircutting before I took a picture. I did check it for bugs and there were none that I could see and it seems to be a relatively healthy plant!

And here they all are!! (minus philodendron.) Next step is to find a prettier way to keep there all in front of the same window. I also can't hang things from the ceiling or walls so I have to find a way to set up those vines to get the most of them!!

If you have any ideas on how to set these up let me know.

ANYWAYS there you go, a tour of all my plants. The end~

Today was my day off and I spent it being really lazy.

Wow it's been awhile I'm sure you've missed my erratic writing and grammar errors.

Hey friends and fam how are you? Good, good glad to hear it anyways let's talk about something really important: me.

Today was my day off and since husband is off and away for work I am also alone.

So today I started my day off by not having a day off and going to a pick up for work at the crack of dawn (not really, like 8 am but that's really early) and I was done and home by 10 am (and I even managed to go to the grocery store wow good job good adulting) and immediately fell asleep.

Then I woke up and had lunch

Then I fell asleep

Then I woke up and had a snack

Then I fell asleep

Then I woke up and had dinner

Then I fell asleep

Now I'm awake and having a snack

Soon I'll be asleep.

So in conclusion I spent like 85% of my day sleeping and eating.

HAHA ADULT LIFE IS OKAY SOMETIMES.

Actual Email I Sent to Husband

Husband is away on work and can only email so I thought this would be a great glimpse into my life for you. Please note this is word for word copied from my email. I didn't change anything.

" I'm glad you found the ChapStick. I want you to know I am too cool and chill to capitalize chapstick like that and that my phone did it automatically. I don't have time for that.

I didn't do any art because I didn't feel like it.  Thanks for the weirdly biased support. Usually you don't care about stuff I care about and now you're like "hey do the thing I agree."  I'm not complaining though. I have some ideas and opportunities I'm looking into. More on that later I suppose. When there's actually something to say.

I got beat up by some trees and the sun today. Pictures included. Actually bled quite a bit but found a really rad adventure spot. Will take you there asap it is lovely. #worth

I made a video of it accompanied by cheerful ukulele music and its on YouTube for the world to see.

Only had one tick on me after the whole ~3hour outdoor shenanigan/wander/inhaler test. Spoiler it helps me breathe and it doesn't hurt my chest to do things but I'm still out of shape and it kinda burns idk.

I went grocery shopping and bought probably way too much lettuce. Oh well I'll just have to be a rabbit this week I guess.

Gwen's been better. I think she wasn't mad at me when she bit me but at my ham sandwich. I tested it by making another one and she got really aggressive and bit me again. Gwen hates ham.

Had some yogurt today. My inhaler doesn't make me sick if I eat right before using it. Like ibuprofen or aspirin do to me too. Or vitamins. Or anything really. Everything makes me sick.

I called my mom three times today and got pulled over for talking on the phone while in the car yesterday. Cop was very nice told me the rules and said have a nice day then drove away.

Anyways its 10:58 pm on Wednesday night and I work tomorrow so I'm gonna go to sleep (and by sleep I meant sit on my phone until at least 1 am or until I hate myself whichever comes first) "

So there you go. I don't know how to include pictures from the blogger mobile app, but the pictures were one of my sunburn on my neck and one of the numerous cuts and scabs on my shins.

Gwen is a bird in case you forgot.

Anyways that's my life in a nutshell.

Grocery Store Shenanigans

Why hello there my curious butterflies!!~

I'm sure you're all just begging me to give you a crashing tour through my grocery store.

WAIT NO LONGER HERE IT IS MY EXTRA SPECIAL FRIENDS!!!

I present to you: Things in My Grocery Store (that are weird or bother me)

Let's start with something not too weird that happens in my grocery store. There's a sushi place. And it's kinda popular? The lady in the seafoam pants was getting sushi too but she was talking about sandwiches. Don't be fooled.

There's also a soup bar, a sandwich bar, fried chicken and mashed potatoes, and pizza made to order.

Like a whole restaurant which isn't that strange but it's just so...popular.

Moving right along, my almost least and simultaneously most favorite part...

The Bagelry. I hate the bagelry because I hate the word bagelry. PLOT TWIST there aren't any bagels. The only bagel is the giant fake one on the wall. It's all bread and muffins. And coffee. I hate the bagelry.

Gross. Look at these gross not dead things. People buy these and kill them and cook them. yuck. bye.

There's nothing weird about gross clams. I just hate them and their smell and I'll never get over it.

Here's something made specifically to pander to the trendy bacon thing that I wish would stop. Someone out there probably thinks this sounds good and that person is wrong.

Popcorn is sacred. You wanna make weird potato chip flavors then fine but leave popcorn out of this.

East coast people are repulsive with foods. Ugh. Get. A. Way. from me with these things blegh.

This is less about weird things and more about things I don't like I guess. Oh well.

If you haven't seen black water yet here it is we have like 40 flavors at my grocery store.

The actual liquid is black. How strange and unappetizing.

Weight-loss chocolate soda!! Because that's not totally gross or anything.

I've never seen anyone buy this brand even, much less the chocolate variety. Zero Carbs!

AND NOW:

White chocolate seltzer! Because there was so much demand for the chocolate soda.

I'm too tired to make this post funny sorry.

Last but not least, the sock aisle. My personal nemesis.

Flanking the sock aisle are magazines and soap. Those aren't important. What's important is the fact that there are SO MANY SOCKS at my grocery store, BUT NO MITTENS.

If there were gloves or mittens included, even if just in winter, I would be okay with this. It would be a section for covering the ends of your limbs, it would be at least semi logical and sensical.

But no. Just socks. And they're not even good socks. They're no name brand socks that are way up charged because WHO buys SOCKS at the GROCERY STORE.

There are even overflowing baskets, seen above, because there are so many socks.

The sock aisle will be the death of me. I truly despise it.

I don't have a good note to end this post on. Just writing about the sock aisle is making me angry. Bye.